Dying to be fully alive

So it's been a while since I don't write a blog -or something like it- I'm not even sure the specifics on this one but I know it's always been good to be able to get my thoughts out into words when something's on my mind.

Yesterday I saw this movie called The Ultimate Gift. The movie is good and we watched it at the church's youth groups last night. I think I really like the fact that the movie even though it wasn't a movie produced by Christians for Christian -I know, I should have said a Christian movie but such term is not correct for me- it really spoke to me about the way God is working in my life.

Ok, so I guess you can never trust or believe in someone unless you are truly and open and honest with others... so being said that: I think my walk in life (walk in the Lord for those spiritual readers) truly took a dramatic turn when I was doing an internship in Tennessee with a youth ministry and I came across this book called Wild at Heart. This book talks about the way God created a man (at his image) and what those characteristics of God himself (as a man) we -men- posses and the process God takes males to bring them from boys, to men. So I do believe God's been transforming me into the man he created me to be. Or you can see it as finding my true self, place in this world, destiny, vision, etc. Part of the process of becoming a true man -not a chump or a sissy for sure! - is facing difficult situations, how else could we grow? And oh man, you ask me if I haven’t faced difficult trials the last two years and a half of my life. Definitely the biggest one was coming back from the US and leave behind, let’s just say a lot of my dreams and coming to a place where I have been struggling to keep them alive. So I guess I finally reached my point: keeping my dreams alive.

You know, I think I’ve really put off many of my dreams or maybe I should call them desires and I’ve learned or decided to just go with the flow and with what I have at my reach. If it was up to me I’d probably be in Australia studying at Hillsong College, huh, pretty interesting no? But let’s say that’s would mostly be a dream with not much vision actually.

Haven’t you noticed dreams sometimes come in weird or unexpected ways? Well, I really can’t say my dreams are dead, let’s just say they have become a hybrid version, more like androids I’d say, they have evolved –if you like the term. I’ve become a High School teacher, not that it has been my dream but it’s certainly something that really goes along the path I know have to follow and which involves one of the three things I feel called to in life: Teaching, Music and Ministry (TMM, yea, not TMNT sorry)

I’m getting musical preparation and this pretty much amazing music academy and finally I feel I’m moving forward again in developing my musical gift. I’m also serving in this amazing church ministry, the teenager’s class on Sundays. So it all sounds pretty good huh? Yea, it is, it’s just the way away everything fits together what makes it… crazy sometimes and still missing some of the things I left behind when I came back from the US. So yea, my dreams aren’t dead but I don’t think they are fully alive yet and that’s a tough place to be.

So by this end of this week and I was just… ready to give dreams for dead –don’t make me explain that- but I found their still alive in that weird state I mentioned, not what I would expect them to be or how I’d expect them to be but this movie reminded me that God’s working in my life in ways I don’t completely understand but HE’s at work and HE’s up to something good for sure. I know his ultimate gift is a glorious one.

Here some quotations that have really spoken to me, I hope their self explanatory and shoot me a comment!

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

Matthew 5 (The Message)